Gender Selection. Would you do it?

I read this article today about selecting the gender of your baby.  For about $4000 plus the cost of IVF, you can select the gender of your baby with a pretty good degree of certainty.  The couples interviewed for the article each have their own reasons for wanting one gender child over the other.  I can understand some of the reasons but not all.

But is it right?

Is it moral?

Is it ethical?

Is it not enough to just have a healthy child?

Have we gone too far?

Full disclosure:  I really wanted a girl.  I had a girl.  I’m not sure that I would know what to do with a boy – I grew up in a house of all girls and only have sisters-in-law.  All of the grandchildren are girls.  Basically, the girls in my family and TK4’s family greatly outnumber the boys.

Would I have been disappointed with a boy?  Nope.  When I was pregnant with Aubryn, the doctor could not find a heartbeat at the first ultrasound and I was devastated.  I had some bleeding at 10 weeks and was devastated again.  Both times, my doctor prepared me for the fact that I may lose the pregnancy – lose Aubryn.  I am blessed to have carried her to term and have a beautiful, healthy child.  After carrying her and loving her for 9 months, I would not have cared at all if she were a boy.  I would not love her any more or less if she were a boy.

If parents like the ones in the article are willing to pay for gender selection, it’s their prerogative to do so.  I suppose that it does show how much the child is really wanted – although I do wonder if the gender selection is to fill some other void in the lives of the parents.

Do I think that it’s a bit crazy to use sorting, spinning and unnecessary IVF to predict the gender of your baby?  Absolutely.  Is it for me?  Absolutely not.

(I don’t want to give the impression that I think that fertility treatments for couples who truly are having difficulties having a baby are in any way wrong.  I have good friends who have beautiful children as a result of fertility drugs, IVF and even surrogacy.  Each of these are wonderful options that I fully support.  TK4 and I would consider any of these options if we were facing infertility.  Fertility truly is a gift.)

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Published in: on February 25, 2009 at 9:27 pm  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Well…as I mentioned in a previous blogpost of mine, I’m not sure about the details of IVF and their moral implications. So this falls in that catagory. If they are creating a bunch of embryos and only implanting the ones of the sex you want…that’s wrong in my view. But if somehow they all live? Then that’s ok, that’s cool. Me…I’m trying to find a way to convince my hubby to adopt…to guarantee a girl and spare me another hellish delivery. I have several friends who’ve done just that after having two boys (Sara Derby Grieb for one…)

  2. Yeah, that seems over the top, but I think Mainline Mom pretty much laid out my take on it.

  3. This doesn’t seem like a good idea to me outside of really extreme circumstances.

    It reminds me of the preference for boys over girls under the one-child policy in China. I suppose it is less cruel not to have a baby of the desired gender than to abandon or mistreat one after having him/her.

    My hope is for a healthy baby of either gender that is genetically related to both of us. In our circumstances, that may be a challenge & we may end up spending more than this to try and make it happen.


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